Life

Long time no blog. Sorry. I just didn't feel it necessary since I post most things to fb these days. But, here's a small update anyway. My body's falling apart. :) And what I can do, it beginning to compete with what I can't. Still, I'm trying to modify so that I don't re-injure all the time. And of course the kids are doing a bit more to help me out,( which they looove). :) This fall though, I will have one less helper since Victoria is off to her first yr on campus at NGU. After 3 semesters of dual enrollment there, she will finally be graduating from homeschooling and ready to be a full-time college student. It'll be so different and I think the one who will hate it the most is Francis. He is going to miss his sister immensely, so I'm sure we will still go up to NGU here and there to see here or go to a L'aMet practice,( which I will miss being a part of). But, this is how it goes and I remember the desperation I had to get out of the house and start my own life as a wife. Victoria will not be walking that road for a while but this first taste of complete independence will be very exciting. And honestly, I'm so glad for texting, because at least we'll be able to keep up with each other without long, inconveniently timed phone calls, or having to sit down at a comp somewhere to see e-mails. Tech sure is great in some ways. Anyway, that's a small update. Nothing too amazing really but it's that 'daily thing'.

ScaTterBrainEd

O.k., I've been more scatterbrained than usual and have a couple of stories to share about that. Last night in the two yr. old nursery at church, I was sitting with one of the little girls on my lap reading her a book. My helper was talking to me about something and reminded me about the girl, whom I promptly started looking around the room for. I stared freaking out because she was nowhere in sight... :/ My helper gave me this weird look and stated the obvious...that the child was sitting on my lap!!!!! Oh my goodness. Did we ever have a good laugh about that one. But, that's pretty scary!

The next thing I did, was mark off three days of this month on my planner with the words, "Keep these days free", because some friends from out of town, who used to live here, were going to have 3 days in the area and were gonna call to make plans when they could. Every day I see these 3 days marked on the calendar,( they've been there for about a month) and I still wrote on top of today's date,(one of the marked off days) that I would help serve a funeral meal this afternoon at church. So, while the kids and I were down at the park walking the track,( and of course, I didn't take my cell phone) this friend was standing outside my door calling my house and cell phone to come and let her in. :/ I get back to the house, and find the missed calls. I call her back, and the time she has free is....guess when....the time I'm supposed to help for the funeral dinner!!!!! So, then I call up the person who asked for my help,( who unfortunately knows first hand how much I forget stuff) and ask her what I can do...like maybe send one of my kids in my place to help serve. Thankfully, she said there's a couple more ppl that are going to be helping out that weren't going to be there before. So, I guess that helps some. But, I still feel like a jerk for messing things up,( again). Ohhhh, how will I ever survive? Will I be one of those old folks who can't figure out how to put on their clothes, who doesn't know that they just said the same thing 20 different times in 5 min.'s and who has no idea whether they are just getting home or just leaving?!!! Agh! I seriously hope not. :/

empty nest?

Wow. So my kids are gone for most of the summer. Each went to spend time with different out of state friends. One for 2 months and the other for 1. It's been pretty nice in some ways, but after about a month without my daughter and almost two weeks without my son...I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself once they leave this nest for good. I'm absolutely dreading it. But, on the other hand, I can't wait to see what their own lives turn out to be like. I will love to 'watch' them on that totally new adventure. I hope they want to share it with me. But, now looking back at how suddenly I left my own family and how little communicating I did,(do) with them about the daily things...I see what a big gap there is between seeing my kids daily and hearing from them occasionally. It's gonna be hard. And even worse, I really do have myself wrapped up in my kids and their lives. I try to give them space, but what I mean is...I don't know what I'll do with myself once their gone. What's left? Cleaning house? Occasional visits with friends? Maybe I'll drive ppl around to appt.'s or shopping? But right now...looking at having nothing better to do than chores and a couple projects makes me want to cry. Maybe by the time I get to this bridge, there'll be something else to look forward to.

About me

Well, I can't even begin to talk about who I have been and all the changes that have occurred and are occurring in my life. But, I think this will just be kind of the ' salt and pepper' version of who I am now. What I mean is, I have two distinct sides of me: The fun-loving, childish side and the very serious, analytical side. For examples of the childish side, let me just mention that I still love to watch certain old cartoons and even have some items I've collected of my fav. characters, which are Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore. I also love Hello Kitty. I have mugs, purses, shirts, stuffed animals and even a metal lunch box of these various favorites. :) I seriously love them. I also now loooove polka dotted stuff,( I used to hate polka dots). I just recently bought some differently colored polka dot plates. And I love eating off of them. I don't know why but they are so pretty to me and I can't wait to pull one out to use it. Doesn't that seem really childish? :) I also love trash talking and sarcastic joking around. It's never meant in a mean way, but just a way of goofing off with friends. I love crayons and things that sparkle. And I still love music that gets my adrenaline pumping and at times I'll actually head bang to some of my fav. songs. So, I guess that kind of introduces you to the child like side of me.

Then there's the very serious side of me. I have certain things that I value pertaining both to the way people act, and the beliefs I have. The way people act,( including myself sometimes) can really tick me off. I hate rude drivers, and pushy people. I hate when someone behind me in a line gets waay up into my 'personal bubble'. And, when people act like animals to get a sale or supplies before a major storm, I get soooo upset. I also def. hate when ppl lie. Sometimes I'm as beastly in my anger toward their actions, as they in the way they act. I get really disturbed. When I hear on the news,( and I don't watch it much) or see a re-enactment,( fictional or not) of child molestation...I can't even tell you what I would like to do to the molester. It's noooot pretty. I also cannot stand when a child/teen/young adult is disrespectful and blatantly disobedient to their parents, grandparents or other authority figure. I wanna ring the kid's neck.

Now, the serious part of me regarding my faith. I am really about watching what goes into my ears and eyes. I don't want any movie, show, book, or music that causes me to think wrong thoughts. I also don't want to ingest into my mind a bunch of violence, immorality, dirty jokes, disrespect of God or races, etc. It's realllly hard to accomplish the task of only watching, hearing, and reading good things, as I don't always know what's coming, until it's there. So, of course I have seen/heard/read things that I wish I hadn't but I think it bothers me to see that many 'Christians' don't even try to keep themselves pure of mind/heart. Other things that are serious issues with me are modesty and dating,( which I don't believe much in). I am very pro-life and anti-evolution, but it's because these are things that are not godly. I can get pretty straight forward in conversations regarding these topics. I don't want to debate forever or get in a conversation where everyone is getting mad, so, the topics don't come up much and if they do, they stay short if possible. My desire is for people to see where Satan can subtly lead us into a wordly mind-set and away from seeking to be the kinds of people that God's Word instructs us to be. I'll be the first to say that I'm very far away from being who I should, but I do also know that I am working toward that goal, day by day, and obviously with God's help and leading. And the last,( and most important) thing I'm very serious about is God's Word. I do believe we should 'divide it rightly'. That is another thing that will not be attained to perfection without God, but we should always try to know what God meant when He inspired His Word to be written.

And lastly, some random facts: I love climbing trees and watching birds, and I love clouds and sunsets and oceans. I hate spiders and cockroaches, but like snakes and lizards and frogs. I don't like the feeling of dry sand or dirt on my hands or feet. But I love the feeling of bird seed and rice. Strange and def. random. :) My fav. color is purple and my fav. clothes to wear are sweats,( and this is only in the house though). I love my monkey sock slippers and having coffee/chat or Bible study with friends. And I love having friends in all age groups.

I think that's enough. I just felt like writing about who I am so that some of my newer friends can understand me better. Now, I hope some of you will write the same things about yourselves.

idealism...sigh

I know what I want to be like, what I should be like...but, for some reason I would rather put things off. Why? Because I'm lazy and sometimes the 'bigness' of a project saps me of energy before I even start on it. Sometimes I have so many projects that I don't know where to start and which one should be top priority. And, on occasion, I am really motivated and get some stuff off of that mountainous list of things that should prob. get done. I know I should cook more, but leave planning til last minute. I know I should clean the shower door, but know how much scrubbing it's gonna take and decide it can wait. I know I should have already had more seeds in the ground for the garden, but it's more work than I want to do. It's sad, but at the beginning of the gardening season, I was gung-ho,( as I always am) but after actually starting the work, I know that I bit off more than I am willing to chew. I could do it, if I wanted. So, once in awhile I really get kind of depressed about the way I am. And does it drive me to do better? Sometimes, but mostly it makes me want to throw eeeeverything away. That way there's not much to keep together. If I had things that simple, then would I cook more, or clean better, or get out and minister to others more frequently? I really don't know. It's always been one of my inner demons,( you know what I mean) this hard work thing. It's never been instilled in me to work hard and have good work ethics. And even though I'm grown and can't blame anyone for that anymore...it's an uphill battle that I'm not willing to climb. I feel lost and without purpose/vision and I keep coming to this crossroads. And each time, I feel the same...a sense of giving up; but then that leads to condemnation because I'm not a good wife/mother. I know that I should be doing many other things and through my example my family should be proud of me and want to be like me. Sigh. I'm so sorry sometimes that someone didn't set their foot down on me in a loving way and teach me to do the things that I didn't necessarily want to do, but that needed to be done. I am sure I would have appreciated it now as an adult. This knowing that I should be better and more committed is such a drag. It's def. not helping me to do better. But how do I break the cycle? I wish I had a good friend who lived close to me that I could do stuff with. Then I know I would have a motivation to do more and do better. Why this is, I have no idea. I guess I don't like to do stuff alone. Hmm

ready to fly, well, almost

I'm getting that feeling of...oh my goodness, my daughter is really, truly gonna be leaving the house for good in the very near future. I never thought it would actually happen, although I knew it would, and now I'm starting to get that sad feeling. :( I have thus far been very excited for her to start a life of her own, with her own act.'s and friends. I mean, she does have that now in a sense, but I always have to drive her everywhere since she's not ready to drive yet. And, even at church, I talk to most of the same people that she does. I know she's looking forward to living on her own and doing stuff by herself, and yet, she's still scared and awkward,( maybe a bit of laziness too). So, as I see her getting ready to take that first dive out into the world, I am wondering what my life will be like without her. How will her brother take it, since they are now much closer than they've ever been. Will he begin to get antsy and take up fighting with me to show his dislike of the new situation? Oh man, I don't know. I guess this is what parents feel like and every generation has to go through it, while the next generation can't even imagine having kids yet. :) We were there once weren't we?

Fav. homeschool stuff

I have just today, finished reading aloud a book that I love soooo much that it is surely among the top 3 favorites of any homeschool curriculum or supplements that I've ever used!!! It's called "King Alfred's English". It is an amazing book and I now know and understand much more about the seasons, peoples/cultures and changes that it has gone through to become what it is and con't morphing on to another level. I never knew how many different languages are woven into English and that most of English is made of foreign words. It's done in a beautiful story form and very lively, creative wording. I would totally recommend buying it. The author is Laurie J. White.

Another fav. up until about 6 grade is Singapore Math. It imbues the child with a much better handle on logic than any other Math curriculum I've used or seen.

My fav. homeschool company is Timberdoodle, hands down. They concentrate on finding unique and engaging edu-games. Their focus is logic and fun together, not one or the other. They do the research for me and I buy the products. Their customer service is phenomenal too.

My fav. websites have been iknowthat.com, brainpop.com, and kidzclix.net. I have also used enchantedlearning.com, and spellingcity.com.

Oh, I could go on and on. But, I just wanted to gab a bit about my homeschool 'picks'. Most of you have already heard me talk about most of them.