It's getting closer to Thanksgiving and a lot of ppl are doing Thanksgiving count-downs. I can't possibly begin to list all the things I am thankful for but I will give just a sampling here and then move on. I am thankful, of course for what we in America call 'the basics', being: food, water, shelter, clothes, jobs, cars and family/friends. But what about all the beautiful 'extras' that we take for granted, like: Christian music and teachings available for us to listen to freely on the radio the web or even to buy. And, what about nature...clouds, water falls, flowers, birds, bugs, mountains etc. And, even body parts are to be thankful for as not everyone has all their limbs or organs. How often do we thank God for eyesight, taste buds and the sense of touch. Real extras like warm, cozy fireplaces and 10 pairs of shoes with as many purses. For guys, tickets to sporting events, local leagues, and cable sports channels. I can't even begin to say how many things there are that I am thankful for. This is just the tip of the iceberg.

Now on to other things...just an amazing revelation about my personality. It hit me yesterday, that i am a 'Simon Peter'. I am passionate, and vocal and zealous...and sometimes get so into the convictions and revelations in my life...that I just can't wait for others to 'get it' . I have to be more gentle and patient, I guess. We all learn and grow at our own pace and I am sure that for the amount of time I have been saved..I should be way more mature than I am.

Well, that's it..just wanted to update on this before I forgot what was on my mind.

It's funny, but I guess I am trying to be someone who I'm not in a lot of areas. Have you ever done that? You see something that you admire in someone else, and think...oooo, I want to do that or be like that and then you take off with all this wild as the wind inspiration..only to find out that you lose steam before you really get started. I am sooo laid back, I am not a personality type A and hope I never will be. But, it would be nice to fall somewhere in the middle. I find that I am super passionate about what I believe and that means that a lot of ppl don't like to be around me during certain conversations. But you know what? Too bad. Not to be yucky, but you can't change the direction of your heart toward God..the place that He's leading, just because it isn't popular with others. I have to search out the motivation for everything I do. I often wonder why more ppl don't think the way I do...and I know that sounds really self-righteous. But, here's what I mean...I try as hard as I can to have perspectives based of factual info., sound reasoning and the Word. So, then, if this is how I come to many of the views I have of how we should live....why do a lot of ppl see it as over-zealous or legalistic? I am very confused. But, at the same time..I believe I used to be very much the same. If someone told me that something was wrong and they showed me proof... I would accept it but not until after a journey of stubborness and excuses. I find that in church some things are " controversial" issues and that there isn't unity of the Body, but rather offense if a challenge is presented. I feel like an outcast...the weird one...the over the edge one. Hmm, I guess I will just con't to be me...and hope to challenge ppl just as I have been challenged by ppl in my life. I want to keep learning, growing and going forward and putting behind be the deceptions of the Enemy. I hope to fall into the company of those who are headed in the same direction. I want no part of passive Christianity and I want to break lose from mindless traditions and burst out of the 'bubble' of my own life. I want to run this race unhindered by wordly cares...does ANYBODY want to go with me? Please, God, help me to do what I should and be who you desire.

So, what's been going on? I haven't felt like blogging at all for one thing. What's to say...life is happening every day...school, errands, church. There are good things and bad and so there hasn't seemed to be anything very "deep" or interesting lately. At the beauty salon the other day, while Victoria was getting her hair tricked with some color..I had several nice conversations with a couple of the stylists. I learned that Hobby Lobby has a christian founder, just like Chickfila and most of the Liquid Highways around. That's so cool, to hear of how those people have affected in such a good way the people around them. I also got to share my take on tooth fairy, Santa and the like and it was accepted without disgust. Day by day, there are things in the news, that tell us that the state of the U.S. is declining morally as well as, as a world power. I guess I am feeling a more realistic sense of impending struggle for those who believe. Maybe that's why lately, I don't seem to care as much about things that aren't going to help me prepare in my heart and mind for these trials. I want to kind of blot out the areas in life that tempt me to live materially. I want to enjoy being at home with my children and am so thankful that at least Victoria is almost done with school. If homeschooling ever goes out the door, then poor Francis will be the one to endure his high school yrs. in "the system". Blah! Well, I do have some ideas of things i want to do that are fun, like learning how to make different kinds of candied apples...get our fireplace fixed, so we can use it and get rid of as many things as I can to make this house as simple as possible. I thought I was super motivated to make some sets of scrapbook cards to use as Christmas gifts, but I have totally lost interest and I hardly got started. Bummer...maybe inspiration will hit again soon. I want to finish a couple scrapbooks, and prob. get 2-3 more started...after that, I think I will get rid of most of the scrapbooking stuff and leave that behind as well. I guess this season in my life is just to enjoy fam., simplify and be ready to do what God wants. I have hopes for the women's meeting to go on, but something tells me they won't. I am thinking about doing the girls purity class at church, so maybe that's where I'll be next. I don't want to shirk my responsibilities to the ministry God has for me...but sometimes I just don't know what in the world I am supposed to do. One day at a time I guess and no condemnation.

Struggle, struggle, struggle...I am in a full out struggle against the desires of the flesh. You think I'd know better by now...but the grass is always greener on the other side right? I have to say to God..well, you know I want this thing that's bad for my walk, but I know it won't lead me to paths of righteousness..so you'll have to change, or eradicate this from my life. It's so hard, but it needs to be taken care of lest I lose out on my reward. I think I've opened myself to it...allowing my devotional time to pretty much be non-existent. I hope God will help me to put this issue completely out of my life, forever and for good.

Being in God's Kingdom means constantly stretching ourselves to do better in God's eyes and according to His Word. We should always be assessing our "comfort zones" and make sure they are not instead "dead zones". We can easily curl up in our own worlds, creating our own kingdoms and trying to live out our own ideals. It's what we want to do..it's what we shouldn't do. And in today's society...it's really, and truly, going against the flow. There are even times when other Christians look at you funny and think maybe you are going overboard. I am still going through a "place" where God is leading me forward, but I am not sure I am responding correctly. I seem to myself to be so passionate about stuff that I offend others...then, I have to wonder if I am living according to God's ways or am I going off on a tangent. I need to do some musing/praying/meditating this morning...once again I feel that He is trying to speak clarity to me...I just need to give Him my undivided attention, so that He can speak.

In about 2 and a half weeks my daughter will be 15!!! How awesome is that? However, I need to make her a neurologist appt. to make sure she will be able to get her permit( we have to make sure her motor tick won't be an issue) . If she can't drive I think it will be a big disappointment to her and to me as well. Also, we are getting our noses pierced and that's cool, however when i see my parents either at Thanksgiving or whenever, i am very anxious as to how my dad's going to react. He's very legalistic and outspoken about stuff he doesn't like as far as those kinds of things go. My mom is not going to tell him about it since she doesn't want to hear all the crap, so he will get a shock whenever he sees us. I am 34 yrs. old and am tired of wondering how he will react to stuff. And I am very quick tempered when he is around. At this stage of my life I no longer answer to my parents but I answer to God about all the choices I make in my life, either spiritual or physical. It's amazing that these cosmetic changes can irritate some ppl so much. I am also hoping that it doesn't stumble anyone at church. I don't want to walk into church and have ppl judging us or acting like we are different ppl,( in a bad way) just because of it. I miss having a church family that is concerned with spiritual life and not so much styles and fashions. I hope my current church family will think it's no big deal and not make an issue of it. Anyway, i can't believe I have taken up so much room about these piercings, but it seems like it's such a big deal to a lot of ppl, that it makes me wonder how many problems it may cause at first. It's not immoral or rebellious so I think it should be o.k. I am excited about it and hope that it doesn't hurt much,( I'm such a baby with needles). I will post pics when we get them.

I have been in a thoughtful mood again lately. Looking around the house again, to see if there's anything else I need to get rid of. This is happening a lot more often and I know God wants me to go to this deeper level. Part of me is ever so ready, and the other part is fighting tooth and nail. I am fine with getting rid of stuff...it's the not buying new stuff that is making me crazy. I am going through the cutsie catalogs and seeing all this cool Christmas stuff already that i want and it is ridiculous the spiritual battle that is going on about it all. Wow, is it supposed to be this hard? I mean it's all only material stuff that breaks, fades, and gets old. I'll be tired of most of it a just a few short yrs. and I'll always find something else I like to replace it. Oh, to live a simple life...and that's where I am headed, I am pretty sure. I need to be way more frugal so we can invest in some of the major projects we want to do to the house. And then, there's the list of stuff I want...sigh....a dream list really...gymnastics mats and rings for the kids to practice with at home...bunches of plants and stuff to make our next yrs. garden really nice. Little odds and ends to finish up "the look" in the living room and kitchen. But, that's why I am very purposefully thinking these things through...over and over again and then weighing them against the more important things that we will need money for: car repairs, braces, act.'s like gymnastics, and giving more money to organizations who help ppl and for taking care of the family/friends I know of personally who are suffering financially. Anyway, I guess that's it for now...I just needed to get that out of my system, I guess. Another way, to work through this process. Let's see where this new level of spiritual challenge takes me to. As long as it's closer to the person God wants me to be, then that's where I want to be.