Thursday, August 18, 2011


O.k., I've been more scatterbrained than usual and have a couple of stories to share about that. Last night in the two yr. old nursery at church, I was sitting with one of the little girls on my lap reading her a book. My helper was talking to me about something and reminded me about the girl, whom I promptly started looking around the room for. I stared freaking out because she was nowhere in sight... :/ My helper gave me this weird look and stated the obvious...that the child was sitting on my lap!!!!! Oh my goodness. Did we ever have a good laugh about that one. But, that's pretty scary!

The next thing I did, was mark off three days of this month on my planner with the words, "Keep these days free", because some friends from out of town, who used to live here, were going to have 3 days in the area and were gonna call to make plans when they could. Every day I see these 3 days marked on the calendar,( they've been there for about a month) and I still wrote on top of today's date,(one of the marked off days) that I would help serve a funeral meal this afternoon at church. So, while the kids and I were down at the park walking the track,( and of course, I didn't take my cell phone) this friend was standing outside my door calling my house and cell phone to come and let her in. :/ I get back to the house, and find the missed calls. I call her back, and the time she has free is....guess when....the time I'm supposed to help for the funeral dinner!!!!! So, then I call up the person who asked for my help,( who unfortunately knows first hand how much I forget stuff) and ask her what I can maybe send one of my kids in my place to help serve. Thankfully, she said there's a couple more ppl that are going to be helping out that weren't going to be there before. So, I guess that helps some. But, I still feel like a jerk for messing things up,( again). Ohhhh, how will I ever survive? Will I be one of those old folks who can't figure out how to put on their clothes, who doesn't know that they just said the same thing 20 different times in 5 min.'s and who has no idea whether they are just getting home or just leaving?!!! Agh! I seriously hope not. :/

Sunday, July 10, 2011

empty nest?

Wow. So my kids are gone for most of the summer. Each went to spend time with different out of state friends. One for 2 months and the other for 1. It's been pretty nice in some ways, but after about a month without my daughter and almost two weeks without my son...I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself once they leave this nest for good. I'm absolutely dreading it. But, on the other hand, I can't wait to see what their own lives turn out to be like. I will love to 'watch' them on that totally new adventure. I hope they want to share it with me. But, now looking back at how suddenly I left my own family and how little communicating I did,(do) with them about the daily things...I see what a big gap there is between seeing my kids daily and hearing from them occasionally. It's gonna be hard. And even worse, I really do have myself wrapped up in my kids and their lives. I try to give them space, but what I mean is...I don't know what I'll do with myself once their gone. What's left? Cleaning house? Occasional visits with friends? Maybe I'll drive ppl around to appt.'s or shopping? But right now...looking at having nothing better to do than chores and a couple projects makes me want to cry. Maybe by the time I get to this bridge, there'll be something else to look forward to.

Friday, April 22, 2011

About me

Well, I can't even begin to talk about who I have been and all the changes that have occurred and are occurring in my life. But, I think this will just be kind of the ' salt and pepper' version of who I am now. What I mean is, I have two distinct sides of me: The fun-loving, childish side and the very serious, analytical side. For examples of the childish side, let me just mention that I still love to watch certain old cartoons and even have some items I've collected of my fav. characters, which are Pooh, Tigger and Eeyore. I also love Hello Kitty. I have mugs, purses, shirts, stuffed animals and even a metal lunch box of these various favorites. :) I seriously love them. I also now loooove polka dotted stuff,( I used to hate polka dots). I just recently bought some differently colored polka dot plates. And I love eating off of them. I don't know why but they are so pretty to me and I can't wait to pull one out to use it. Doesn't that seem really childish? :) I also love trash talking and sarcastic joking around. It's never meant in a mean way, but just a way of goofing off with friends. I love crayons and things that sparkle. And I still love music that gets my adrenaline pumping and at times I'll actually head bang to some of my fav. songs. So, I guess that kind of introduces you to the child like side of me.

Then there's the very serious side of me. I have certain things that I value pertaining both to the way people act, and the beliefs I have. The way people act,( including myself sometimes) can really tick me off. I hate rude drivers, and pushy people. I hate when someone behind me in a line gets waay up into my 'personal bubble'. And, when people act like animals to get a sale or supplies before a major storm, I get soooo upset. I also def. hate when ppl lie. Sometimes I'm as beastly in my anger toward their actions, as they in the way they act. I get really disturbed. When I hear on the news,( and I don't watch it much) or see a re-enactment,( fictional or not) of child molestation...I can't even tell you what I would like to do to the molester. It's noooot pretty. I also cannot stand when a child/teen/young adult is disrespectful and blatantly disobedient to their parents, grandparents or other authority figure. I wanna ring the kid's neck.

Now, the serious part of me regarding my faith. I am really about watching what goes into my ears and eyes. I don't want any movie, show, book, or music that causes me to think wrong thoughts. I also don't want to ingest into my mind a bunch of violence, immorality, dirty jokes, disrespect of God or races, etc. It's realllly hard to accomplish the task of only watching, hearing, and reading good things, as I don't always know what's coming, until it's there. So, of course I have seen/heard/read things that I wish I hadn't but I think it bothers me to see that many 'Christians' don't even try to keep themselves pure of mind/heart. Other things that are serious issues with me are modesty and dating,( which I don't believe much in). I am very pro-life and anti-evolution, but it's because these are things that are not godly. I can get pretty straight forward in conversations regarding these topics. I don't want to debate forever or get in a conversation where everyone is getting mad, so, the topics don't come up much and if they do, they stay short if possible. My desire is for people to see where Satan can subtly lead us into a wordly mind-set and away from seeking to be the kinds of people that God's Word instructs us to be. I'll be the first to say that I'm very far away from being who I should, but I do also know that I am working toward that goal, day by day, and obviously with God's help and leading. And the last,( and most important) thing I'm very serious about is God's Word. I do believe we should 'divide it rightly'. That is another thing that will not be attained to perfection without God, but we should always try to know what God meant when He inspired His Word to be written.

And lastly, some random facts: I love climbing trees and watching birds, and I love clouds and sunsets and oceans. I hate spiders and cockroaches, but like snakes and lizards and frogs. I don't like the feeling of dry sand or dirt on my hands or feet. But I love the feeling of bird seed and rice. Strange and def. random. :) My fav. color is purple and my fav. clothes to wear are sweats,( and this is only in the house though). I love my monkey sock slippers and having coffee/chat or Bible study with friends. And I love having friends in all age groups.

I think that's enough. I just felt like writing about who I am so that some of my newer friends can understand me better. Now, I hope some of you will write the same things about yourselves.

Thursday, April 14, 2011


I know what I want to be like, what I should be like...but, for some reason I would rather put things off. Why? Because I'm lazy and sometimes the 'bigness' of a project saps me of energy before I even start on it. Sometimes I have so many projects that I don't know where to start and which one should be top priority. And, on occasion, I am really motivated and get some stuff off of that mountainous list of things that should prob. get done. I know I should cook more, but leave planning til last minute. I know I should clean the shower door, but know how much scrubbing it's gonna take and decide it can wait. I know I should have already had more seeds in the ground for the garden, but it's more work than I want to do. It's sad, but at the beginning of the gardening season, I was gung-ho,( as I always am) but after actually starting the work, I know that I bit off more than I am willing to chew. I could do it, if I wanted. So, once in awhile I really get kind of depressed about the way I am. And does it drive me to do better? Sometimes, but mostly it makes me want to throw eeeeverything away. That way there's not much to keep together. If I had things that simple, then would I cook more, or clean better, or get out and minister to others more frequently? I really don't know. It's always been one of my inner demons,( you know what I mean) this hard work thing. It's never been instilled in me to work hard and have good work ethics. And even though I'm grown and can't blame anyone for that's an uphill battle that I'm not willing to climb. I feel lost and without purpose/vision and I keep coming to this crossroads. And each time, I feel the same...a sense of giving up; but then that leads to condemnation because I'm not a good wife/mother. I know that I should be doing many other things and through my example my family should be proud of me and want to be like me. Sigh. I'm so sorry sometimes that someone didn't set their foot down on me in a loving way and teach me to do the things that I didn't necessarily want to do, but that needed to be done. I am sure I would have appreciated it now as an adult. This knowing that I should be better and more committed is such a drag. It's def. not helping me to do better. But how do I break the cycle? I wish I had a good friend who lived close to me that I could do stuff with. Then I know I would have a motivation to do more and do better. Why this is, I have no idea. I guess I don't like to do stuff alone. Hmm

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

ready to fly, well, almost

I'm getting that feeling of...oh my goodness, my daughter is really, truly gonna be leaving the house for good in the very near future. I never thought it would actually happen, although I knew it would, and now I'm starting to get that sad feeling. :( I have thus far been very excited for her to start a life of her own, with her own act.'s and friends. I mean, she does have that now in a sense, but I always have to drive her everywhere since she's not ready to drive yet. And, even at church, I talk to most of the same people that she does. I know she's looking forward to living on her own and doing stuff by herself, and yet, she's still scared and awkward,( maybe a bit of laziness too). So, as I see her getting ready to take that first dive out into the world, I am wondering what my life will be like without her. How will her brother take it, since they are now much closer than they've ever been. Will he begin to get antsy and take up fighting with me to show his dislike of the new situation? Oh man, I don't know. I guess this is what parents feel like and every generation has to go through it, while the next generation can't even imagine having kids yet. :) We were there once weren't we?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Fav. homeschool stuff

I have just today, finished reading aloud a book that I love soooo much that it is surely among the top 3 favorites of any homeschool curriculum or supplements that I've ever used!!! It's called "King Alfred's English". It is an amazing book and I now know and understand much more about the seasons, peoples/cultures and changes that it has gone through to become what it is and con't morphing on to another level. I never knew how many different languages are woven into English and that most of English is made of foreign words. It's done in a beautiful story form and very lively, creative wording. I would totally recommend buying it. The author is Laurie J. White.

Another fav. up until about 6 grade is Singapore Math. It imbues the child with a much better handle on logic than any other Math curriculum I've used or seen.

My fav. homeschool company is Timberdoodle, hands down. They concentrate on finding unique and engaging edu-games. Their focus is logic and fun together, not one or the other. They do the research for me and I buy the products. Their customer service is phenomenal too.

My fav. websites have been,, and I have also used, and

Oh, I could go on and on. But, I just wanted to gab a bit about my homeschool 'picks'. Most of you have already heard me talk about most of them.

Sunday, March 27, 2011


I have been mulling over this concept since it dawned on me that one of my dear children has, from little, been severely effected by feeling like performing well=being valued and loved. Now, I know all parents make mistakes and all that, but I just realized,( again and on a deeper level) that a child sometimes perceives things we do as messages about our feelings toward them. So, I began to think of all the instances where either through word or deed, my children have been made to think that they need to perform. What is the difference between performing to be loved and accepted, and performing to complete a task, or performing as a means of forming a habit etc. This is a biiig idea to pick apart. But, I think I might have gotten to the bottom of it, at least in some way. We tend to be self-centered creatures, so, performing to achieve a goal of accolades, or acceptance is the wrong kind of performance, or maybe just the wrong motivation. Performing to achieve an end goal that will help us to be the best we can within God's plan for our lives is the right kind of performance. For example, learning to have good manners is a type of performing but with the focus on others. Performing skills can be a part of your every day responsibilities,( i.e., you have a job that requires you to design a building, or explain a new math concept to a class of students, or even dance in a ballet production). We perform much more than we realize. However, sometimes we expect a certain type of performance by others to please ourselves or exert control over them. I think that's where I come back to the musing over all the wrong I committed in the growing up years of unnamed child. Children are needy. They need our care and our love. They need our teaching and our unconditional acceptance. But, sometimes we get caught up in their performance. We can put unfair expectations on them or they may simply perceive a whole value system of themselves off of a handful of sinful parenting moments. After that, they may even perceive other people's expectations of them as performance=value. Tender hearted kids take this to an unhealthy level I think. And we as parents don't realize the affects that can have. So, I guess I'll keep pondering this subject and see what else God may show me. Any insight from you all is welcome. :)

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

looking forward

I am happy to announce that we are almost 2 and half weeks out from the end of this school yr. Yay!! I already have almost everything I need to get us started with next yr.'s work in our 4 week summer school session. Wow. I am a little excited and a bit sad too though, because my daughter will prob. be spending most of her summer in Puerto Rico with her b/f. I'm so excited for her to go on a trip like this and make lots of awesome memories, but I am going to be sad not to have her here. :( I guess this will be a small taste of what it's like when she leaves home.

Anyway, back to school stuff. We went to our very first, ( and prob. last) homeschool convention. It was pretty good but there were only a couple sessions that I really, really, liked. However, I went to the Creation Ministries booth and found that instead of Francis going right into Biology this yr., ( which I'm not sure he was ready for), that he will instead do some lighter and more interesting reading on several Science/Math topics,( general study of earth, the history of Math and Medicine, and books on Biology, Chem. and Physics). The books are a set and are much more practical, and interesting than going straight for the heavy stuff,( memorizing scientific laws, learning equations, etc.). It will give him an intro. and a way to lay some ground work for the rest of the course. I hope this will help him to learn in such a way as to not be overly stressed and overwhelmed by too much info. and tests that he's not able to retain for. That's not what I want for him. I want to set him up for success and real learning.

As for other school related things...I always find areas that we aren't doing our best in. Writing is always one. I think I will get Victoria the course from IEW on how to write essays. I think both kids will benefit from this. Vocabulary and Spelling are always areas that need beefing up and we have laid off of math fact practice too, which is prob. not the best. So, I will hopefully find ways to keep trying to strengthen these truly important skills.

Now, changing gears and out to the garden. I did seedlings for the first time this yr. I haven't put any of them outside yet but I am getting antsy. Today I will transfer some of them to pots where they will stay. Others just need more room for roots so that they don't die in waiting. I will hopefully accomplish a whole list of things today, including planting some squash, cucs, and beans. I hope I plant everything in the right place and care for them in the right way. There's soooo much to learn about how each thing is supposed to be grown. It's still very overwhelming, but as long as this yr.'s crop is better than last yr.'s, then I guess I will feel relieved.

I am looking to be more of a good steward too and this is something that has been taking place for awhile. I haven't done much and not as consistent as I should but it's getting there. I've tried to always keep lights off, but now I even unplug things that aren't in use. I've tried to fill buckets with the drips from leaks and not waste the water. I've been thinking about how to take the liquids from pots and pans that have been soaking to loosen stuck food, and not have to pour that water down the drain. I would like to fill a bucket with that murky, mucky water and use it in the garden. I also set out some tupperware containers to catch the rain and now I will use that too in the garden. I'm even hanging my clothes on an indoor laundry line in the garage. I have to set a floor fan out to keep the clothes from drying with wrinkles, but surely it saves electricity not using the dryer. I am looking for ingredients to make my own detergent/cleaning supplies to save money and not use as many chem. products. Vinegar is just as good for windows as Windex.

So, I guess a lot of things have been going on. It might not seem like a lot of very significant stuff, but don't all the little things have big impact after awhile? :)

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Homeschool catalogs

It's that time for me again. We'll be done with this school yr. in 4 weeks. Wow!!! Then we may have a week off and go straight into our 4 weeks of summer school. Our summer school is always the beginning of the next yr. and therefore I need the next yr.'s curriculum and supplements very soon. I have begun dreaming through my catalogs again, and as always, finding more than I expected to find that I want to have. It's mostly books these days. I've been very poor about having my kids do extra curricular reading all these yrs. and I am trying to make up for it now. I buy a bunch of books,( mostly fictional history) to go along with what they're going to be studying in their history books. But, somehow, I always forget which one's I have on the shelf and miss pulling them in at the right times. Still, the more books I have, the more my kids will read, regardless. And, yes, we have a couple of libraries within 10 min.s, but, I always forget to turn in the books on time and end up owing money. It's better to own the books and not worry. So, I'll be going to Amazon today to start a wish list. Then, whatever I don't find, I will look for at the homeschool book fair, which I always look forward to like a child waiting for presents on Christmas morning. I used to buy tons of edu-games, both comp. software and board games, but my kids are growing out of some of that. I need more little kids, so I can keep on playing. haha Anyway, so, let's see what kinds of goodies I can lay my hands on this yr. I seriously can't wait.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

to all my adopted teenagers...

I have had the immense privilege of getting to know quite a few of the youth in our church over the last couple of years. I am constantly amazed at how blessed I feel to be a part of their lives. I have gone through so many different stages with them. I have laughed, cried, rebuked, teased, punched,( playing around of course), trash talked, rocked out with and gotten messy with these guys and girls over this last while. Sometimes a few of them have gotten me pretty upset, and I have wanted to slap them over the head, but then I've also seen growth and maturity from the same kids. I've learned about how some of them struggle to fit in, get picked on and feel depressed. I've watched a couple of them find someone who they feel might be in their permanent future as a soul mate. I see others getting close to college age, and getting ready to make some big choices. I've given some crazy 'talks' to a few, have encouraged some to con't to step up and be the example, and have enjoyed seeing how some have already found their God-given talents and am so excited to see how they will use them for Jesus' glory. Some of these guys/girls simply make me look bad....they are so involved in service and leadership, volunteering and have strong work ethics. I admire them, and they are examples for me. Others already know that they want to live out a life of Christ-likeness and are doing just that. They have their spiritual heads on straight, and it makes me wish that I had been so committed when I was at their age. So, just to say, to all of you teens/young adults, I love every last one of you, will con't to hang out with, be a pest to, listen to, advise, stick my tongue out at, irritate, get in your faces, party with, have your back, call you out, and generally be a second mom to all of you,( or at least those who are willing to put up with me). God put each of you in my life and I am sooooo blessed. Thanks for allowing me to be a part of who you are.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Being outspoken

I never was you know...outspoken that is. When I was younger I was bossy to my lil brother, but at school, I was sooooo insecure. I don't think I spoke much, or looked many ppl in the eye. I remember most the negatives of school life and being picked on. I wasn't taught much, or trained in how to think for myself, or think logically. I was taught how to be confident in who I was in Christ and shown my good traits. So, I wandered aimlessly through life, until my confidence was found. At that point, it was all just a desperate attempt to soak in all the fun, friends and acceptance that I could. I stood by certain values/morals that had been ingrained in me, but mostly to point at others and show them their 'sin'. Much, much later, I met someone who challenged me to think. Wow, of all things. :) Now, as I study the Word, and read info.,( scientific, historical, or whatever) I don't just accept what's being presented and many times I have a bone to pick with something that's said or presented because I see a fault in it. Now, here's where the problem has been lately. I stand up now for what I believe and try to back every opinion up with either Scripture or logical reasoning, and believe me, it hasn't made me too many friends. I know this desire for truth in me has challenged some ppl in a good way, but, I think it's also driven many ppl away. So, now I am coming into a realization that I need to be careful not to have a need to put my view into every conversation. I need to pick only the important and relevant issues to enter into if I have an opposing position. It's interesting though, that even if I become more choosy, I'll still be alienating ppl from myself by being so outspoken. I wonder if this is part of 'the cross' that I carry. It isn't popular many times to challenge ppl to act more as I believe Jesus would want us to act, and many times, actually most times, the things that I am the most passionate about in the moment, are the things that God is putting in my own heart. So, what to do, what to do. Should I slow down and take it easy? Keep my mouth shut, follow the crowd and not rock the boat? I don't know, but I do know that I'm more aware now that I have this issue to mull over and I hope that helps me to only speak out when needed.

Monday, February 28, 2011

busy vs. fruitfulness

I realized something today after having a conversation with someone I've just re-connected with. I was admitting to much laziness and have known for some time now that I could do so much more to keep my home in order and teach responsibility to my kids by developing some of my own. But, I also abhor those who are soooo busy all the time with this and that, that there's no time for the important things, like relationships. So, I realized this- in all the musing;I don't always need to be 'busy' but I do always need to be fruitful. Like right now..I'm not really busy. I'm not doing chores, or running errands, or doing projects, but in writing this blog, I am hopefully being fruitful. I will be searching myself for the next while to see what this new motto will mean for me. I wonder how many of you have already discovered this truth in your lives.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

homeschool motto

So, I have been dealing with some issues lately that have required me to think/analyze a bit more about homeschooling. And, here's the motto that embodies what homeschool should look like for me. Love God and Love Learning. Punto. That's it. Now, because I didn't know how to instill the love learning part for sooo many yrs. , that part of the motto has not been fully realized. And having two teenagers who want to do nothing that requires effort, of course, schooling doesn't seem so fun these days. But, learning is not just during the hours of school, nor does it have to do only with books and assignments. We all know that, that's obvious. The Love of God part is also something that has not been instilled from day 1 since I've been on the journey of truly finding my faith for many yrs., and my struggles with the flesh along the way have not exactly been the kind of magnet toward God that my kids have needed to see. But, now that I am dedicated to the Lord, I am hoping He will use what time is left to breath into my kids the desire to know and love Him. This motto, and the challenges that I have been presented with to analyze how I homeschool, has allowed me to once again focus on the most important things. The other things are just that...other things. I will do what God wants in my homeschool situation. I know that others are already on the right track in their homes too. I am glad that God has led me to a couple of things these last few days regarding exactly what I've been dealing with, to comfort me and to reassure me, that if I am seeking Him, then He will do in our lives what should be done. Amen.

Monday, January 31, 2011

Today I notice a change coming in me. I am less likely to enjoy a good debate these days, than I was before. I guess it's because even when I feel something is very obvious, others don't get it. So, does that mean I'm wrong. Are we really all supposed to have such differing of opinions on issues of godliness. It seems that I am more disappointed and struggle with this issue now, when before it was refreshing. I believe God is bringing me to put away my expectations of others to agree together, and leading me more to the important relationship of love that He wants with me. Love of God needs to be central and letting His Word my refreshment. Caring for people, and talking things out, but only when needed, for His glory is the best way and I need to go back in that direction. I need to let subjects of disagreement that are not pivotal to growth in Christ stay to the side.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

What to say about our home/family. Well, we are a haphazard kind of crew. The table doubles as a paper stacking area, which is fine, because we almost always eat in the living room, if we even eat at the same time. The kids have desks in the school room, but prefer to do school in their rooms. I have lots of undone projects that I could do, but usually put aside to clean, or organize or sit at the computer. I sometimes put on music and sometimes we work to the hum of the a/c or heating system. We snack when we're hungry, take breaks to chit chat now and again, and as every mother does, I have to give lots of reminders to do daily chores and try to instill some basic good habits,( of which, I myself, do not even practice consistently). I looooved the times when I could buy lots of manipulatives, and educational games for my kids and I to use, but these days, both kids are older and prefer to be left to their studies uninterrupted by mom's 'great ideas'. I do get a lot of great ideas and try each one to see which will fit our family and which will fizzle out. Sometimes I feel guilty for trying out so many new things and then letting most of them go. Is that teaching inconsistency or simple not being afraid to try things that might work and might not?Hmm We also are a very tech. oriented family, ( which is not my preference, but is again how our family works). Dad and kids all love video games and movies. Mom tries to stay out of most of that or be cautious at what all I allow myself to get into. I would rather everyone be reading and writing and discussing, but, going with the flow, while sticking some occasional reading/writing assignments in here and there, is a way I can not totally lose out on my vision without causing turmoil and disharmony. I do love movies, although I hate all the garbage they contain and so I try to put questionable movies into the Clear Play so that I can use filters. The computer,( mostly fb), is huge for our family. I have one child though, who's been writing a series of books for yrs., and for that, I am o.k. with all the time spent in front of 'The Screen'. As for field trips and outings, these, as with the edu-games and such, are also mostly a thing of the past. And, once again, there's limited interest,( or should I say, unlimited DISinterest). haha Sometimes I simply say that we are going to do something, like it or not. And, in this area, I am extremely glad for photos that remind us..those things really weren't all that bad. :) My kids are better than me in some areas though, like spending money. They continually remind me of all the stuff I don't need, which is great, because that's an ongoing journey for me this past while. I don't want to stock up on unnecessary things, but, the temptations are always there. And, my kids are also better at thinking skills than I am. I am very poor in the observation/common sense dept.'s; And so, with homeschooling, and some great logic basis studies, these guys are better prepared to think for themselves than I ever was at their ages. It's almost a shame, but, I also know that I am succeeding at preparing them for the barrages of false arguments that this world has. Our family also has been able to challenge even the Church in this area. We find many people live in a box of do's and don'ts without even knowing why. We have been able to challenge those mind frames to some degrees by deciding on doing things that are against the grain,( not out of rebellion or spite), and having sound reasoning for the questions/accusations that we are faced with. So, in conclusion,( phht, that sounds a bit too formal), our family is not really the traditional, the house is clean 'cause mom's home all day, everyone eats around the table together, intensely involved in intellectual activities,( I wish), follow all the predetermined mind sets of our Christian culture, push to the top kind of family. But, I know that God is always working on us and that our family is the way it is, for a reason unbeknowns to me,( obviously) and I think we have our strengths and weaknesses, just like every other fam. on this planet. :)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Feeling that feeling again. I have so much to do but just don't have the motivation to get started. However, once I get to it, I can get stuff done. I have undone projects that I want to do themselves. I could get everything done if I wanted, but instead I sit here blogging about how it's undone. :( I truly need to have a better work ethic. Does anyone else feel like they are lagging behind but don't really want to put forth the effort needed to catch up? Hmm Laziness is it's name. Why do I struggle with it so much? It must be because I don't have the need to have to do things within a certain time frame. Still, the way I feel and act is so very anti Psalm 31 woman. I guess pray for me that I will have a vision and an inspiration get under my skin and drive me to become who I should as home-maker, wife and mother.